You're gits and you know it
June 6, 2008
BMW M cars: technically advanced, beautifully engineered, and the choice for total gits, says Richard Porter
'Here in the UK, driving an M car always comes with a slight whiff of twattishness'
Aside from Harold Shipman and the Church of Scientology, few things have as much of an image
problem in Britain as the BMW M cars. In Germany, where kids dream of being engineers, and technical precision is some kind of aphrodisiac, this probably doesn't exist, but in the UK driving an M car always comes with the slight whiff of twattishness.The original M3 might be an object lesson in track-tuned, homologation special handing but, as they slip into the classic category, there's also something horribly nerdy about them.The following generation doesn't even have rarity on its side, and with lots of them around at affordable prices, it's become a fine choice for the kind of nobber who drives round your town centre at night, waking everyone up with an aftermarket exhaust that sounds like a donkey farting through a saxophone. >'The latest shape M3s still attract the attentions of people who work in business solutions excellence systems'
Then there's the penultimate and the latest shape M3s, which are still unmolested but somehow attract the attentions of people who work in business solutions excellence systems. And the
current M5, since it's a bit more tarty and technical than the old one, seems to have slipped effortlessly into this same space.A space that's usually outside some sort of 'executive' hotel on the outskirts of Kettering. Delegates for the IT Implementation Management Optimisation Futures Conference this way.Make no mistake, the M cars are beautifully engineered, and brilliant drivers' cars. It's just that the people who buy them seem to have done so not because of the 'Nürburgring-polished chassis' - although, oh God, they'll tell you all about that anyway - but mainly because they wanted a better BMW than that bloke from the HR department with the 335i.Put it this way, if you want an M car without the badge on the back, BMW can do that for you, and for no extra charge. But when do you ever see an M without the M on it?
current M5, since it's a bit more tarty and technical than the old one, seems to have slipped effortlessly into this same space.A space that's usually outside some sort of 'executive' hotel on the outskirts of Kettering. Delegates for the IT Implementation Management Optimisation Futures Conference this way.Make no mistake, the M cars are beautifully engineered, and brilliant drivers' cars. It's just that the people who buy them seem to have done so not because of the 'Nürburgring-polished chassis' - although, oh God, they'll tell you all about that anyway - but mainly because they wanted a better BMW than that bloke from the HR department with the 335i.Put it this way, if you want an M car without the badge on the back, BMW can do that for you, and for no extra charge. But when do you ever see an M without the M on it?